Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, the man cries.  Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.  And in that gift from the most High God, in the creation of man and woman for each other, marriage is established as the sign of God’s intent.  Men and women – different and complementary – made for a union of delight, of strength, of beauty, of passion, of procreation, made for a covenant in which the nakedness of bodies and nakedness of hearts are sheltered and sustained in a canopy of love.  Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.

        In the days of Jesus and even unto this day, that canopy of love is given a visual expression at Jewish weddings.  That canopy is called a chuppa.  A prayer shawl (or tallis, as it’s called) is held up over the couple as they speak their vows.  Sometimes its quite elaborate, sometimes very elegant, with four decorated posts holding the corners-the canopy is stretched out symbolically to the corners of the earth.  Woven into the cloth are pictures of the twelve tribes of Israel – a reminder of God’s eternal presence with his people.  Sometimes the canopy is just held high over the couple’s heads by their families and then gently wrapped around them when they have spoken their vows – a reminder that it is God who has brought them together and it is God who will be their shelter, their comfort, and their strength.  It is God who will be at the center of their marriage for it is God who will be at the center of their hearts. 

        God is the source of all life.  God is the source of all that is good "and in his infinite love he creates his children as male and female, so that as we grow into his image we can give all that we are through a love that fulfills his intentions in making us (as man and woman) for each other.

        In the Judaism of Jesus’ day, the wedding ritual had two parts, usually separated by a year.  The betrothal was the first part.  There were precise, legal formulas spoken, for wealth and property that passed hands.  In that year a man and woman were considered as husband and wife even though they had not yet met under the chuppa, even though no sexual contact was allowed.  In that year following the betrothal ceremony, they would come to know many things about one another, but it wasn’t until the second part of the ceremony, the nuptials as they were called, that the man and woman would act in the fullness of love.  No documents would be signed on this day for the man and woman were already legally bound to each other.  No documents would be signed but held in the canopy of God’s love they would make love, and in the act of making love they would be bound to the God who had made them"  Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. That God would give each of them such a sign of his love would work to draw them closer to himself.  For it is he who has provided this one for us so that we would always know how dearly we are loved by him.  And the sexual union of a husband and wife was understood as a means by which we creatures would come to know our creator.

        With such an understanding of marriage as established by God so that we would know, yet again, how deep his love is for us, it is no wonder that laws of the community spoke to the protection of marriage.  For just as sin entered that first garden, there are very few marriages that are always paradise.

        Divorce was a reality in the ancient world. And so just as in this day religious leaders struggle with how to speak about the consequences when the fabric of a family is torn apart, so the rabbis in Jesus’ day all had something to say.  They all sought to interpret the laws of Moses for their community and they didn’t all agree.  The Pharisees come to Jesus to see what he has to say, too, but not because they want to listen to him—but because they want to trap him–thinking that he who eats with tax collectors and prostitutes would not strictly keep the law of Moses.  But they are the ones who will fall into their own trap.  For Jesus, who is fully human and fully divine, will bring them back to the act of creation.  Moses allowed for divorce but that was not God’s intent in the beginning of creation.  Moses allowed for divorce.  He made it law for you because you were so lawless.  But Jesus, fully human and fully divine, knew what would happen to a wife and child after a divorce.  He knew it in his bones, in his flesh.  For if Joseph who was betrothed to Mary had divorced her as he had planned" if Joseph who was betrothed to Mary who was pregnant with a child that was not his" if Joseph had followed what was allowed by the laws of Moses, Mary would have been considered agunah – that is, unmarriageable; and Jesus – an illegitimate, bastard child – unprotected from Herod’s marauding troops.

       The Pharisees are shocked no doubt, expecting to be given a free pass, not a call to repentance.  The Pharisees are shocked because Jesus tells them, Moses shaped the law for you – you, who are always looking out for yourself – you who are ready to discard a partner made in God’s image for someone else to please your appetite.  This is not what God intended when he gave you the gift of making you male and female.  Marriage was given to you by God for you to know his love.  And much to our surprise the word that Jesus speaks against divorce made survival possible for all the little ones who would have been out on the street.

        And maybe that’s why at such a crucial moment in his teaching he calls the little ones to himself.  For each generation of children, children born of the lovemaking of a husband and wife, are a sign of God’s presence, of this continuing covenant with his creation.

        For children to grow and thrive, they need a mother and a father.  For children to learn of the goodness of God they need to be treated with goodness from a mother, and a father, and a whole community.  And just while they’re learning from us what it means to give God glory with our lives, from the smallest of action to the greatest, to speak and to live with grace, we’re learning from them just how much our lives are dependent upon God, our Maker’s, care.

        He who is trustworthy has called us to trust in him, to trust in him for our very lives, our very bodies"flesh and bone"male and female, and to use our bodies according to his will.

May you grow in his image and likeness on this day.

May you care tenderly for your husband or wife, if you have been given so great a gift.

May you embrace those whose marriages have fractured or have been betrayed, sheltering those who need renewal for this life.

And may you love all the children until the sound of their delight becomes your own.  Amen