B. Easter 6. 2009                                             Christ Church , York

It’s that time of the year again. It’s that time of the year - and I don’t mean this glorious celebration of Easter, now in its sixth week. I don’t mean the impending great festivals of the Ascension and Pentecost and I don’t even mean vacation time, which many will shortly start taking. No I mean its wedding season, that time of the year when I preach a bunch of sermons about love. So perhaps I should be grateful to the committee that put together the three year cycle of readings that they have provided this opportunity for me to get a little practice in, a heads up so to speak, on the topic of love. For love is at the heart of that great relationship we call marriage as indeed love is at the heart of any relationship and so it should not surprise us that this text from the Gospel of John is so often used at weddings. For what text better summarizes the warmth, the  height, depth and breadth of the love that two people have for each other as they stand before the altar rails, than these words of Jesus found in the Gospel of John, “This is my commandment, that you love one another just as I have loved you.”

But as I say to every couple in their pre-marital preparations sessions, these words present something of a difficulty for Jesus speaks in a way that seems strange, using words that ring a little awkwardly, especially as He pairs the words command and love in the same sentence. After all for many couples, whether they are about to be married or have been married for many years, it is that feeling of love welling up inside, overflowing in abundance, embracing and encompassing all, which best expresses the way they feel about each other…and such a feeling of love does not require a commandment, something to be obeyed. And indeed the very words “obey” and “love” seem out of place when used in the same sentence since obedience seems to negate the pure and free gift of love being expressed in such a relationship.

Yet over the years I have sat with too many couples who too easily find ways to combine love and obedience. Often in words filled with emotion, one partner will turn to the other and say, “If you love me you will…” and then go onto to delineate their conditions, their expectations, even their demands. But such a pairing should not surprise for we likely learnt it first from our parents or grandparents who were quick to use the same sort of conditional language for love, “If you love me you will…” And while not consciously aware of it, even my old Jack Russell dog learnt that same pairing as he would come and stand before me, eyes filled with excitement and anticipation, saying without words but with every action of his body, “If you love me you’ll take me for a walk.”

But the real difficulty of pairing love and obedience lies with the idealized form of love which our society has embraced. Filled with the images of romantic love and all its sentimental attachments, we view love in our world today as something best and most fully expressed in Hallmark cards or some reality show which plays upon the emotions of falling in love with a complete stranger. But at its very best, indeed in the ways ordained by God Himself, love is so much more than some warm and gushy feeling. In such an understanding love is guided and sustained by loyalty, genuine care, respect for the other, a consistent desire for the well being of the one loved and the capacity to be forgiving, honest and forbearing of the others faults. This is a realistic love not an idealistic form of love and, at its best, seeks to cultivate a real love in a strong and healthy relationship.

And if we are confused about love in our world today, then its safe to say that we are even more confused about obedience. For a child who does what they are told by their abusive parent is not really being obedient but rather submissive. The citizen who lives under the shadow of a tyrant and seeks to follow their irrational demands is also submitting but not obeying. Even my old dog, who would sometimes listen to my commands but cower in the process, was really submitting but not obeying. Genuine obedience is possible only in an environment where freedom is nurtured and not compulsion, a freely chosen act of will given as an expression of the desire to please and further the shared relationship, an outward manifestation of an inner trust in the one issuing the call to commitment or delivering the challenge to obey. Real obedience is a response in gratitude, the willingness to lay aside one’s self interest in service to a greater cause. Obedience cannot be forced and it cannot be imposed by either legal constraint or physical intimidation. Understood in this way, perhaps it is a shame that that the word “obey” has been lost in most of our wedding vows these days, for such obedience freely given in love on the part of both parties, could prove to be a wonderful expression of love itself.        

Understanding both love and obedience in these ways then, we grasp a little more of what Jesus is asking of us when He says, “If you love me you will obey my commandments.” For now both love and obedience are grounded in freedom, both are offered in trust, and both call for a giving up of a selfish and self-serving attitude and instead seek to the welfare of the other. In love then we will do as we are commanded. In love we will freely and willingly obey His commands. For in love we know how much He has loved us and therefore how much we love Him in return. It is not a burden to obey; it should not feel like a hardship of any kind. Indeed as the letter from First John says plainly, “And His commandments are not burdensome.” So we do not obey the voice of Christ begrudgingly but rather live in a joyful as we seek the pleasure of our Savior rather than pandering to our own self-interests. The union of obedience and love then is shown in how faithfully and fully we live our lives in Christ and love for God is evident in our obedience to all that God has willed for our lives in Christ.

And what God has willed for our lives is never more clearly stated than it s in this one command of Jesus, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” And there is no greater manifestation of such love than in the self-giving sacrifice of Christ on the cross where, as the Scriptures tell us, He became obedient unto death, even death on the cross. But even in His dying and rising and ascending, Christ also remains with us, incarnate among us, through the power of the Word and the grace of the sacraments. It is such incarnate love, such self sacrificing love, such caring and constant love for our brothers and sisters that Christ now calls us to show toward one another.

The heart of Christ is shaped by love and obedience and the heart of the Church is shaped by the heart of Christ. Therefore each believer and follower of the Lord carries within his or her own breast, that spiritual heart of the Savior. Love and obedience then are simply two sides of the one coin of Christian faithfulness; they form the currency of our compassion to those around us; and they are at the very center of our lives as Christians. In obedience then we love and in love we obey. Thanks be to God then for the gift of His love and for our call to live in such love and obedience all the days of our lives. Amen